If you have had any exposure to the seduction community whatsoever, you are most likely already familiar with the 3 Second Rule, but I will nonetheless briefly elaborate on this concept for those readers who are not. The 3 Second Rule is one of the fundamentals of pickup. Simply put, you should approach any girl you want to talk to within three seconds of seeing her and/or making eye contact for several reasons, including:

1. You don’t have time to think. It may feel as though you are psyching yourself up by waiting, but in reality, you are much more inclined to psyche yourself out. The more you think about the approach, the farther you journey into your left brain. This is counter productive since you want the interaction to be as natural as possible, which only happens when you are “in the moment” and using your right brain.
2. It prevents you from lurking. If a girl is standing next to you as you are trying to build up the courage to talk to her, your nervous energy is inevitably going to affect the interaction because you are attempting to overcome your fear of rejection, but she only feels the fear, which creates uneasiness (remember: our goal is to make the girl feel good) while making you less alpha.
3. It sets the stage for the rest of your night.

I went to see Kid Rock a couple weeks ago with my friend Isis and her friend Gin. After the show was over, we went to the backstage hospitality area to take advantage of the free snacks and open bar. Gin excused herself to go the restroom but Isis stayed with me despite the need to go herself. “Don’t worry, I’ll be OK,” I told her. “I’ll just make new friends while you’re gone.” After all, I had anticipated (correctly) that there would be an abundance of SHB’s and had already envisioned myself—before the night even began—using this time backstage to sarge.

As Isis runs off after Gin, a self-conscious nervousness begins slowly taking over my body and I find myself beginning to retreat inside my head, so I remind myself how good it is going to feel to be talking to new people when Isis and Gin return. I look up and see a two set and my approach anxiety grows stronger. I take a deep breath, count to three, and approach the set.

WAYMORE:	Hi (pause) I’m Waymore. What’s your name?
SHB-BLONDE:	SHB-Blonde.
WAYMORE:	And you?
HB-BRUNETTE:	HB-Brunette.

Their guard is still up but I maintain my frame and plow through.

WAYMORE:	What was your favorite part of the show?
SHB-BLONDE:	All of it.
WAYMORE:	Wow, that’s pretty vague.
HB-BRUNETTE:	What was your favorite part of the show?
WAYMORE:	My favorite part was the long jam where the groove just kept going while Kid Rock went around and played every instrument.

They start to open up a little due to the fact that I just shared something with them; it was a simple thought, but it nonetheless described the way the show had made me feel (this is Juggler Method philosophy).

SHB-BLONDE:	So what do you do?
WAYMORE:	I teach guys how to meet and talk to girls.

Their jaws drop in fascination. I’m in. HB-Brunnette looks at SHB-Blonde.

HB-BRUNETTE:	Is he the first guy that’s come and talked to us so far?
SHB-BLONDE:	I think so. (to me) It looks like you’re good at what you do.
HB-BRUNETTE:	He didn’t use any lines or anything.
WAYMORE:	That’s not my style. I just like to meet new people and have a good time. So who did you come here with?
HB-BRUNETTE:	Her husband and his friends.

The Husband strolls over a few seconds later.

WAYMORE:	Hi, I’m Waymore.
HUSBAND:	I’m SHB-Blonde’s Husband.
BOTH OF US:	Nice to meet you.
WAYMORE:	What was your favorite part of the show?
HUSBAND:	All of it.
WAYMORE:	That’s what she said. I guess great minds think alike. I liked the part where…

I continue to vibe and the Husband’s Friend joins us a few minutes later.

SHB-BLONDE:

Husband’s Friend, this is Waymore.

I have successfully integrated myself into the group. They leave several minutes later and the Cool Guy standing next to me ignites a conversation.

COOL GUY:	Hey man, I dig your shirt; I have one like it at home.
WAYMORE:	Thanks.

We talk for a little while and he tells me that his friend’s dad owns the sound company that provided all of the backline for the show before excusing himself to go find a cigarette, at which point I decide to head for the bar, where I run into Isis and Gin. We get our drinks and walk toward the opposite side of the patio when an Older HB grabs my arm.

OLDER HB:	Oh my God, you are so hot and you’re with a different girl every five minutes.
WAYMORE:	I’m not hot; I’m actually kind of a nerd.

I say this to disqualify myself; this comes from a different place than bashfulness, which stems from a weak belief in one’s own intrinsic worth (also known as confidence).

ISIS:	He is hot, isn’t he?
OLDER HB:	Yeah, he’s cute.

Isis and Gin leave me alone with the Older HB and Her Friends as they embark upon a mission to get into Kid Rock’s dressing room. The Older HB has her arm around me, blessing me with kisses on the check every so often. Cool Guy joins us a little while later because he and Older HB know one another already (she too is here through the company his friend’s dad owns).

She and I sit down to talk and I learn that we are both going to Coachella (an annual music festival in Indio, CA near Palm Springs) and she may have an extra backstage pass, so we exchange numbers and begin making out soon thereafter when something dawns on me.

WAYMORE:	Do you have an after show pass for tonight?
OLDER HB:	Maybe.

She checks her pocket and has, not one, but two! The girl sitting beside us wants one too so I give her one before walking over to Isis and Gin.

WAYMORE:

Thank you, but excuse me for just a minute.

Isis and Gin are talking to a couple of members of the crew, who turn out to be very cool guys as well. They introduce me to the crew guys, I give Isis the after show pass (needless to say, she is thrilled), and she steps to the side and opens a two set of girls. The hotter of the two (who is also one of the hottest girls in the room) has big brown eyes and a smile you can’t help but return. Isis talks to them for a couple of minutes before grabbing my arm and pulling into the set as she DHV’s me.

ISIS:

This is my friend Waymore. He is one of the smartest guys I know and he’s cute too. Doesn’t he look hot in that hat [that she bought for me that day]? Talk to him; I’ll be back in a few minutes.

SHB-Smile and HB-Friend introduce themselves to me and we begin the process of getting to know each other. In an interesting twist of fate, HB-Friend works at the Cartoon Network and knows one of my clients. SHB-Smile is a producer at E! Television. I manage writers, directors, and comedic actors in addition to creating and packaging TV shows for a management/production company, so the three of us connect by talking shop. I make my intentions known throughout the conversation with intense eye contact and lots of kino, eventually rewarding her on a high point with Juggler’s SOI.

WAYMORE:

Sexy and smart—I love it.

She melts, as they always do when you give them the SOI at precisely the right moment—even when the delivery is less than perfect.

SHB-SMILE:

Thank you

A genuine thank you, not the high-pitched dismissive one Tyler Durden talks about.

WAYMORE:

So what’s your relationship status?

Another great Juggler technique that he calls gathering information.

She tells me she’s single as Gin interrupts to enlist my help in rounding up Isis (who is somewhat tipsy and subsequently social), so we can go. Gin has to work early in the morning and it’s already after midnight. I tell her to give me a couple of minutes to finish up my conversation with SHB-Smile and she obliges.

WAYMORE:	Alright, I have to go but would love to continue this conversation later.
SHB-SMILE:	Definitely. I’ll give you my number.

I dial her number on my phone and have her add me to her phone book so she knows it’s me when I call (yet another Juggler technique), bid her farewell, and excuse myself to go find Gin and Isis.

I felt compelled to share this experience because it illustrates an aspect of the 3 Second Rule that is often overlooked but nonetheless important: the momentum you gain—not only with regard to that particular interaction—but the rest of the night as well. As you may recall, self-consciousness was beginning to set in after Isis and Gin left for the bathroom, but I immediately eliminated it by approaching the initial two set without taking the time to think about it. Taking to these girls also provided me a huge degree of social proof as evidenced by Older HB’s comment. Granted, I could have recovered from failing to approach SHB-Blonde and HB-Brunette, but it would have been much more difficult than just doing it in the first place—not to mention the fact that Older HB may have observed me lurking, thereby affecting said social proof. Furthermore, by the time I reunited with Isis and Gin after making friends with SHB-Blonde and HB-Brunette’s group as well as Cool Guy (which no doubt stemmed from him seeing me talking to them), I was having a good time and therefore naturally in state. This led to successful interactions with Older HB (who was friends with Cool Guy, providing even more social proof) as well as SHB-Smile and HB-Friend. These interactions went so well that I have received return phone calls and talked to both girls several times since…and it all started with that initial three seconds.

So the next time you find yourself frozen by approach anxiety at the beginning of the night, immediately refocus your thoughts on all the benefits of approaching and how these next three seconds will affect the rest of your night—and life too for that matter. Take it from me; you’ll be glad you did.

--Waymore