I must admit, when I first started out in this game it was always difficult for me to touch women. There was the desire to be close to and touch women, but I would always become nervous and self-conscious when doing so. I would think, “What if she freaks out? What if I touch her too soon? What if I don’t touch her?” If this was a problem for me, I’m sure a lot of you out there reading this have experienced the same thing. I never wanted to be known as the creepy guy who would grab all the asses of women or holler and whistle at them on the street or in the club. I have found an easy little routine to get myself comfortable with kinoing and having her to be okay with it, as well. Before I can explain my routine I must explain the theory behind it.

I have theory about women and touching. Women personally do NOT like to be touched by just anybody. Go out, begin to notice it, you’ll see what I mean. When in social environments, women tend to touch men as little as possible, unless she is attracted in some way. This theory also applies to when women passing through the crowds in a club, on the streets and almost any people congested place. You’ll notice that women usually will either avoid as much contact as possible or slightly touch a person to ask them to move out of the way, but do not continue touching for any longer than a second. This is because some horny men think that a slight touch means a woman wants to bump uglies. I will elaborate more on this theory in my upcoming article titled “Are you trying to get in? (women touching in a club)”.

Well, now that you know a little bit about my theory, I can now tell you about my technique to starting kino with a woman while interacting. I was recently in Montreal, Canada for Cliff’s List Convention 2006. The HLG team, a few students from the convention and a new PUA we had met, Asian Playboy, all went out for a night out in Montreal. The club we stationed ourselves at played music I loved. We danced, moshed and screamed to songs by Rage Against the Machine, Sum 41, and Fall Out Boy. Now if you do not know me, I like to go to punk rock shows and scream with all the bands. I especially like crowd surfing and moshing, the only down fall to it all is that some of those kids begin to smell like 20 day non-washed wet socks, smelly as shizznit. This type of environment is key for me because it gets me in an excited, joyful mood which women feed off of. Anyways, so after a few head banging songs with Waymore and Michael DeLion, I had Waymore come into a 2-set interaction with me. If you don’t know Montreal they have two main languages they speak, French & English. Now I’m not good in French so I had a waitress from earlier in the day write down how to say, “Do you speak English?” in French. And there was my opener.

MM:	“Hey guys, do you speak English?”
HB:	"Yes.”
MM:	“You do, great! Okay well my friends and I have been out here for the past couple of days, but every time we speak to girls they always speak French and very little English.”

MM:	“I want you to teach me some French. Here read this.”
HB:	(Give her the paper the waitress wrote) “Esc-que vous parque Anglias.”
MM:	“Es qo parli Anglias?”
HB:	(giggles) “No, Esc-que vous parque Anglias.”

This goes on for a little bit, I cut the thread and start to talk about Canada. I tell her how we are in Montreal for the Cliff’s List Convention and she is amazed. This is where I start my soon to become new kino routine.

MM:	“Yeah it’s great teaching guys how to be social, because I think we are not only helping the men but also the women. By doing this it helps guys be less creepy.”
HB:	“What do you mean?”
MM:	“Well for example: Let’s say you are in a club, now I’m sure you’ve gotten your ass grabbed many times…”
HB:	(Hits me) “Oh my God, like all the time. I’ve actually had guys grab my crotch too!”
MM:	“Wow! Yeah usually women grab my ass when I’m out too it’s kind of violating. And I know women have a thing about touching and being touched. Like for instance if a guy touches you like this (I touch her shoulder with an uneasy hand) you’d be weirder out.”
HB:	“Yeah!”
MM:	“I’m honestly the same way. (I pull my hand off) I’m kind of reserved when it comes to touching someone I don’t know, but if we get some dialogue going and I were to touch you like this (I put my hand on her mid back softly) it would become more appropriate.”
HB:	“Uh huh. There’s a line that you must cross to allow her to become comfortable.”
MM:	“Exactly! (I remove my hand) Now if you and I are really hitting it off and I’ve touched you a few times, if I touch and keep my hand on you (putting my hand on the small of her back) it will become a lot more natural. You will also be a lot more comfortable with me.”
HB:	“Wow! I can’t believe you really know all of this.”

We talked for about another ten minutes or so, with my hands on her body for the remainder of the interaction. Now let’s pick apart this little technique that worked. What exactly worked and why?

• I spoke with confidence in what I was saying. If you are to deliver this with no passion or conviction in the subject you are speaking then she will not believe you.
• I repeated my kino three times. I’ve always heard from all of the best sources that repetition is the key. When it comes to business, marketing, gaming, affirmations, change, memory and the like, if you repeat something three times you are more likely to build a knowing for it. So by allowing her to feel my hand with her skin, it gives her the familiarity of my touch. By the third time she had no problem with my hand being on her.
• I had a non-threatening vibe. This is good especially for those guys who are scared of touching a girl, due to her reaction. By being non-threatening and explaining what you are doing she is more likely to be comfortable with your actions.
• I kept it fun. I let her know that this is something that I do, ergo something I find fun. This joy which emanated from my interest in the subject of women made her feel more excitement in the kinoing. She knew I knew.

It’s a fun baby step into getting you used to kinoing and the responses in women. This will help you to see the ‘matrix,’ you’ll begin to notice how women react to men who are too aggressive and those who are too shy with touching, as well. I encourage you all to venture down the road of kino, because without it you’ll have hard times getting her body temperature up. Unless you are a suave man of words and body language, you will need to learn to kino women in the most effective ways.

To your success!

Marcus Matthews